John 1: 16 - For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.

A month and a half ago, I wrote a difficult blog post sharing how God shut the door on the adoption that we had been pursuing for over two and a half years. It was a tough time for me and Emily, but we held firm to the Lord and trusted in His best. We still felt as if God was leading us to adopt out of our area through DSS, despite the fact that it’s been a difficult road. So we chose to persevere.

Today, I get to share some good news. Next week, we have the JOY of having two beautiful little sisters move into our home before Christmas. We have been chosen as their adoptive family, and will foster them until that adoption can take place. This was completely unexpected for us, especially to happen this quickly. We can thank our wonderful workers at DSS and the relationships we have built there. We can thank an incredible attorney who has consistently fought for us behind the scenes. But ultimately, God is working a miracle of grace in our family. We don’t deserve this, but are beyond thankful for His consistent love to us. He has been working in our family for good since the very start of it.

We can’t share a lot of details over the internet, but we can share our joy. 

It’s been a long road to get to this point, and we certainly still have many things that need to take place before an adoption is finalized. But for now, we will take the time to become a family, to learn each other, and to celebrate the gift of Jesus together this Christmas.

Thank you each so much for your prayers for our family over the last several years. Your faithfulness to pray and care for us is showing great fruit in this time.

Here’s how you can pray for our growing family in the coming days:
1. Pray for these precious girls that this transition will be as smooth as possible for them.
2. Pray for me and Emily, that we can quickly learn parenting on the go and do our best to communicate the love of God through the love we show them.

We love you all and hope that God’s gift of Jesus to your family this year is felt strongly. Merry Christmas!

This morning I was reading through Psalm 71 and the words echoed strongly in my heart:

1     In you, O Lord, do I take refuge;
       let me never be put to shame!
2     In your righteousness 
       deliver me and rescue me;
       incline your ear to me, and save me!
3     Be to me a rock of refuge,
       to which I may continually come;
       you have given the command to save me,
       for you are my rock and my fortress.

I know that many of you have been waiting on an update on our adoption (you can read some past blog entries for more context). It has been well over a month since we let you know that we had a hearing that did not go well and that we were still waiting for a verdict. Last week, we had that hearing and we received that verdict.

Just as a recap, earlier this year we had a hearing that was a huge win for us, seeming as if it was a 99.9% chance that these kids that we’ve been praying over for over two years would be coming home with us. It left us with what we thought was a small, simple step for DSS and us in order to get the kids home. It still, however, required going to another judge for another hearing.

What we thought would be a sure thing with no complications ended up incredibly complicated. In the end, we received a no on the kids coming to us now, and the future of the case is all but shut down. There are so many details that go into all of this, but the result of it is that the kids will likely stay in permanent foster care until they age out.

Emily and I are heartbroken over this. It makes no sense considering the goal of foster care in South Carolina is to either return kids to their parents or have them adopted into a permanent home. Nevertheless, this is where we are. We have no answers. We’ve been praying for them, and I know the Lord will reveal them to us in time.

For now, this prayer is what we have: Be to me a rock of refuge, to which I may continually come.

Last Sunday, I had the honor to preach on the death and resurrection of Jesus from 1 Corinthians 15. It was a highly emotional experience for me with everything going on, but it was clear that God gave that passage to me for one reason.

Paul says in verse one: ‘Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you STAND.’

God knew that in that moment, we needed to be reminded of the gospel. We needed to be reminded that our sure foundation wasn’t our emotions. It wasn’t in any hope that we had in this world. It wasn’t in our hopes for these kids in our home.

Our sure foundation is the good news of Jesus Christ, and it’s in that hope that we stand.

We may be sad, and we are. We may experience anger, and we do. But those things don’t make us who we are. Jesus makes us who we are.

Here’s what we ask of you: Pray. Pray for these kids that God would work His good news out in their lives. Pray that they would be safe and well loved. And pray that each of us remembers what our hope is in: Christ alone.

Most of you have been following our adoption story for awhile, some of you for years and others over the last several months. Emily and I want to say a huge word of THANK YOU for your prayers for us over this season, as well as give you a quick update. We honestly could not have walked through this process without the support of so many who have patiently walked with us through this.

Here's where we are -

Most of you know that over a month ago, we had a hearing that we won by God's grace. Basically this opened the door for us to be the only couple to move forward in adopting these kids we've been promised for over two years. This was a HUGE step and gave us so much hope. 

Since that hearing, we've been waiting for all the paperwork to be signed and a bunch of legal things to be worked out. The great news is that most of that has happened now. We have so much to be thankful to the Lord for in getting us to this point.

So now, we would like to ask your prayers again. As far as I understand it, we only have one (yes, just ONE) step left before the kids are able to move into our home. Simply this - We are waiting for a signature from a judge. This could literally happen any day now, and we are incredibly excited! So please, pray for expediency with all this, so we can begin this transition for these children and work to help them feel loved and a part of our family.  

Thank you so much for your prayers. We can't wait to let you know the good news!

If you’re reading this post right now, this question has probably come to your mind at some point or another - Are the Ainsworths still adopting? Unless you are in our missional community, a huddle with us, or involved in the regular rhythms of our life, you may not know. I realize that for you, this has probably been a bit of an awkward journey. You may be unsure of the status of things, and afraid to ask because you don’t want to bring up a sensitive topic. We totally understand that.

Truthfully, it has been difficult, and we haven’t talked about it much because there hasn’t been much to talk about. We’ve been tied up in court hearings and proceedings that progress things, but ultimately haven’t led to any decisions. We have had many moments of great hope, believing that this was the time where things would be finalized, only to have that hope diminished by various circumstances. We’ve had long periods of nothing happening, proving difficult to endure with optimism. Through it all, we’ve persevered, believing God’s call to be better than our failing emotions.

To answer your question - Yes, we are still adopting. 

It’s been over two years at this point since we were supposed to have two beautiful little kids placed in our home. I would be lying if I didn’t say those two years have been hard. Every day we walk by the bedroom we worked so diligently to prepare for them, from building a bed to making quilts and curtains. With each glance, we experience a mixture of hope and sadness. Every time we open a drawer or cabinet with a child safety lock, we are reminded to pray for these kids.

I’m writing today because everything is changing over the next several days. We have a court hearing early next week that has the potential to be a final decision in all this. With this, we need each of you that have been praying for us over the last several years to spend some time praying over the coming days. 

Pray - 
1. For the Kids - Whether it’s a transition for them, or things stay the same, God loves these kids deeply. Pray that He would use either circumstance for His glory in their lives. 
2. For the Case - Pray that our judge will make a decision that’s best for the kids, that their welfare and well-being is at the core of the decision.

I know many of you have been praying for us, and we do appreciate that. Whatever happens, we will continue to trust and believe in God’s sovereign hand, not just over the world, but over our lives as well. He is working our lives, and this situation, for His best. We may think and believe that we know what’s best for us, but my idea of ‘best’ for me doesn’t begin to compare to God’s best for me. So if you pray for us, pray for God’s will and God’s best for our lives, and not just for our desires.

Whatever happens, our hope is in our Lord Jesus Christ. Our lives, whatever they may be, are only a reflection of the true life He’s given us. Our love is only a glimpse of the love that He has shown to us. Our family is a picture of the family that we receive from the reconciliation by Christ’s blood. Our adoption is ultimately a reflection of God adopting us as His children by the work of the cross.

He is good. He is love. He is best.

Well it’s been quite awhile since our last post. I’m sure that many of you have been wondering what is going on in our adoption world. Truthfully, we haven’t posted in months because there really hasn’t been anything to tell. I can catch you up pretty quickly -

We were selected last April to Foster to Adopt two beautiful little kids (M&M).

Their move into our home has been tied up in court since then.

Honestly, that’s all we really have as an update at this point. It seems simple and uncomplicated, but it’s been everything but that in our heads and hearts. There have been multiple moments where we’ve been close to getting them, and court has been postponed for varying reasons. That has been hard emotionally, but we trust our God who is faithful, not only to us, but to these kids as well.

We have another court date coming up next week, and would ask your prayers for these kids and those in charge of making these decisions.

Because we don’t have too much to share at this point, we thought we could give you a glimpse into our home and the room we have ready for them. Emily and I have worked hard to be prepared for them at any moment (as we have to be). 

Because it will be most comfortable for them at the start, we have them sharing a room together. You can see from the above early pic that we once had a crib in the room (Emily made a cute little crib quilt). The youngest is now too old for that, so I built a little toddler bed and Emily made a comforter for it.

Here's a little shelf area with a place for more books (we LOVE books!) and toys. We have a little chalkboard framed on the wall to leave notes!

We want to say a special word of thanks to each of you who have been praying for us these past months, even without word of an update. We believe that now, more so than ever, we need to be bringing these kids before the Lord. If you can join us in praying for them over the next few weeks, we would be incredibly grateful. 

Can you pray for us? Yes, but I would hope that you would especially pray for these two beautiful little kids made in the image of God. Pray that, no matter the outcome, they find their hope in the one who made them for His glory!

I made a decision to separate my blog into two separate blogs. I think it's confusing to have family stuff and work/theological stuff located together. So for simplicity sake, I'm creating this new blog to deal with our adoption journey and family life. You can find my other blog dealing with christian issues here.

It's been interesting to look back on life as I've put this blog together. The last several years have been quite a journey for Emily and I. The Lord has been beyond good to us, but we've walked through some difficulty as well. Sometimes it seems easiest to put difficulty behind us. But the truth is, it's never really behind us. The things that we go through in life stick with us and make us who we are today. 

It's tempting in starting this new blog to just erase it all and start where we are, which is full of hope and joy in what God is doing. But the last year, our failed adoption, and the pain that came with it existed for the glory of our Lord. That's why I can't bring myself to erase the past. I believe it exists to strengthen us, but also maybe to encourage others. Adoption isn't always easy, and it doesn't always work out. But that doesn't mean it's not worth it. We learn from the journey. So take a journey through our blog and our story.

I hope and pray that this blog is an encouragement for people dealing with the pain and struggle of loss in adoption. God is faithful. He will carry you through. There are too many children out there in need of a family. We can't give up just because it's hard.

God has proven His faithfulness to us. We are in the process to adopt two beautiful kids, and though slowdowns continue to pop up, we ultimately trust in the sovereignty of God. He will have His will, and that will is beautiful and trustworthy.

He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it.  - 1 Thess. 5:24

I just got off a pretty exciting phone call. Let me give you some background -

Most of you know that this past year has been a difficult one for Emily and I. You can read back through this blog to find the history, but here’s a basic summary. We were in the process to adopt a beautiful thirteen year old girl through DSS and were confident that God was guiding the entire thing. She was with us for four wonderful months and then made the decision to attempt an adoption with a family member who stepped into the situation. It was heartbreaking for us, but we were still confident that the Lord was guiding the entire thing. We have realized through all this that we are called to obedience, even in difficulty. In all this, however, God has blessed us with His kindness and comfort, a wonderful marriage relationship, and incredible family and friends who have been a great support. We have much to be thankful for.

Today, we have even more to be thankful for. We still believe that God has called us to adopt through the DSS system. There are too many children in our own neighborhoods that are without families. A little while back, DSS contacted us and let us know that our file would be going to a selection committee for a young sibling group. A couple of weeks ago, we had the joy of discovering that we had been selected for a Foster to Adopt situation with a girl (almost 3 years) and a boy (1.5 years). Yesterday we met with DSS, were presented with all information on the kids, saw pictures of them (they are beyond adorable), and wanted to immediately say YES! Under state law we had to wait a day to do that, so that was the pretty exciting phone call I just got off of.

Their names both start with M, so for now, we will call them M&M in all of our online sharing. We are unable to share any details beyond that and probably can’t for awhile, but I will explain a little more about Foster to Adopt and where we are. In this situation, the rights of the parents have not yet been terminated (it’s in process), but DSS is fairly certain this will take place. So we will foster the children until they are legally free to adopt, and then be able to adopt them. It’s not a certain thing that they will ever be free for adoption (it’s ultimately up to a judge), but DSS wouldn’t move forward with this if they didn’t feel pretty confident. We understand the risk in this, and knowing that God has called us to care for the fatherless, have confidence in His best as we say yes.

This can be a very quick situation from here on. There is a ten day transition window, and barring any slow downs, these kids could be living with us in as little as 10 days! That’s a big transition for a family that’s never had little kids before, so we are working hard to get things ready with the little bit of information that we have at this point. Most people have 9 months for this, so we are working to prepare for two kids pretty quickly.

So we would ask that you please pray for us -
1. Pray for these sweet kids that they would have a smooth transition into our family.
2. Pray that we would be able to do the work of preparation needed ahead of time. As a side note, I’m leaving in the morning for a mission trip to Haiti for 7 days. Pray that Emily won’t feel overloaded or stressed working through this stuff without me here.
3. Pray for God’s best in this. That’s really what we desire for these kids and us. We hope and pray that it’s with us as a forever family.

Thanks for all your prayers over the last year or so. God never ceased working in this situation and we are thankful to be a part of His story!